Santaa – The Voice in the Chimney
Ho, ho, ho!
Everyone knows that Santa says ‘Ho, ho, ho’. But what does that mean? Is it a laugh, or is there something else to it—some deeper meaning, hidden within?
As you might have guessed by now, it is very much the latter. This is Santaa: a maddening laryngeal cacophony of a language that, when spoken, manifests itself in our feeble minds as a seemingly harmless and merry sequence of hoes—all too eerily reminiscent of a laugh. However, Santaa is no laughing matter—and Santa none to be trifled with.
Luckily for us, He spends most of the year hibernating: at the northernmost point of the world, there He lies in wait amidst the ice, snow His mantle, and the cold His only companion.
But once a year, on the fateful twenty-fourth night of December, beware of His advent! For then, He shall walk amongst us, distributing horrible things under the innocent guise of toys and wrapped in paper blood-red. And when He comes for you, pray, for you will soon come to realise, that the Chimney Man laugheth not.